Do we really need another “love is a battlefield song?” Seriously. As if we didn’t already know (painstakingly so) that love and relationships are fraught with their own particular brand of warfare. How is it that this thing that we call love can sometimes quickly turn into this thing we call hate? And sometimes those things change without even the slightest of warnings. Why is it that we can sometimes go from one extreme to the other, and then back again? All too often, we experience intense, consuming “love” only to plunge into intense, consuming “hate”—perhaps thinking that love is the opposite of hate…and maybe that’s the real problem.

So, let’s consider this, on the one hand we have love, all soft and gooey, and on the other hand we have hate, all cold and calculating, but are they really opposites? I say, no, they are not. The opposite of love isn’t hate, the opposite of love is non-love, or in other words, indifference. So, for the purpose of this discussion, consider that there are three kinds of relationships: love relationship, hate relationship, and non-love (indifferent) relationship. The characteristics of these relationships can be measured in degrees of mattering (i.e. what they do, what they think, where they go, and how they feel).

In a love relationship it matters to you what the other person does, thinks, feels, and where they are going. There is an expressed effort to have their life and your life move along the same (or similar) paths. A useful analogy to consider would be riding a bicycle built for two. Obviously the two people are headed in the same direction. There is a high degree of trust as evidenced by the fact that the person up front has a clear view of the road, while the person in the rear does not. The person up front has the steering mechanism, while the person in the rear does not. There is an assumption that both are providing separate (but equal) degrees of power needed to get where they are going.

In a non-love (indifferent/separate) relationship it doesn’t matter to you what the other person does, thinks, feels, or where they are going. There is an expressed effort to have their life and your life move along completely different paths. So in others words, you both have your own bikes and you head off in your individual directions. There is no reason to talk, consider, or consult one another with regards to the journey. You go your way, and they go theirs. No fuss, no muss.

In a hate relationship—though you might be loathe to admit it—it matters to you what the other person does, thinks, feels, and where they are going. Like it or not, there is an expressed effort to have their life and your life move along the same (or similar) paths. Going back to the bicycle built for two analogy, the two of you are headed in the same direction. There is a high degree of distrust, as evidenced by the fact that both people struggle to be the person who rides up front. The riders stop suddenly, fall, push, and are sometimes dragged along, all the while digging in their heels or providing no positive power, or they attempt to turn the back of the bicycle into the front of the bicycle…you get my meaning.

So, just stop right now and consider your relationships (past and present). What is the status of your relationships (past and present)? What do you need to do in order to experience your love relationships more lovingly? What do you need to do to transform your hate relationships? And another thing, go ahead and forgive yourself for your participation in those hate relationships…you’re only human. According to The Pretenders. it’s a thin line between love and hate.

Use this blog to post your insights. Read and discuss the insight of others. Go for it!!!

For so long now, you’ve been focused in one direction. There’s no reason at all to feel bad about your single-minded focus. At one time, that direction was innovative, interesting, compelling, and provided you with a great deal of the things that you needed at the particular point in your life. However, more and more, you begin to notice that the old direction is beginning to yield less desired results. Since that direction is all you’ve ever known, there’s a reluctance to “zoom out” so that you are able to see more of the rich opportunities around you. That reluctance isn’t unwillingness, it’s simply reluctance that is either on one hand, habitual, or on the other hand (should I say it?)…laziness.

Whichever is more accurate, habit or laziness, now is the time to shift your perspective, not out of desperation, but urgency, and a sincere desire to win. Winning, however, has nothing to do with a race or competition, but a desire to experience the highest level of self-expression you could ever imagine.

And another thing, your winning doesn’t exclude the possibility of the people around you winning, too. Winning simply means, you are expressing your glorious self, and they too, are expressing their glorious selves.

For the past weeks, we’ve discussed creating your own life strategy, doing just one thing differently, becoming conscious of our collective thoughts, moving from breakdown to breakthrough, and letting go of excuses…all of which has been leading us to a fuller expression of our deepest, most vital selves. Have you been paying attention to what is being born through you?

Have you courageously inquired into what is your soul’s deepest yearnings? Have you noticed the shift in energy in and around you? Are you joyfully laughing, creating, envisioning, writing, journaling, and collaborating? Are you searching, looking, listening, loving, rearranging, sitting, and playing? Or have you been angry, sad, depressed, scared, avoiding, disconnecting? Or maybe you’ve been fighting, brooding, resenting, blaming, waiting, or hoping?

Whatever, or whoever, you’ve been until now, this moment is a call to shift, or otherwise open your perspective, What I mean is, let’s say your focus, up until now, has been like looking through a telescope. A turn in one direction of the telescope’s barrel “zooms in” to a particular object or person, a turn in the other direction of the telescope’s barrel “zooms out.” So, what have you been missing while you’ve been so myopically focused? Simply this, life’s rich, beautiful, and luscious scenery. As soon as you “zoom out” you realize that it’s always been there, you’ve just not been able to see it because you’ve been so sharply focused in one direction. So, do it with me, turn, turn, turn, turn. Can you see it? Everything that you’ve been complaining about, wishing/longing, or desiring for has been there the entire time. I mean really, the entire universe is on the other side other lens, or where have you been looking?

Use this blog to post your insights. Read and discuss the insight of others. Go for it!!!

Love,

Jaimes.

Aren’t you sick of it by now? I mean, really. How many times have you brushed up against the possibility of being wildly successful, when suddenly you stumble upon something that you don’t know how to do? What happens next is the “I don’t know how to do something dance.” You know it well. You know all the steps, twists, turns, and dips. It even includes some “mamby-pamby,” half-hearted attempts of doing it, only to fall back into the familiar posture of resignation. You throw your hands up to the sky, or put them in your pocket, or busy them with some other meaningless task…just so you won’t feel what it feels like be defeated. Be honest. How many times have you thought, “I need to do this or that in order to get where I want to go!”? You have a moment of brilliant clarity, but when the rubber meets the road, you shrink, or in other words pull back. The reason you tell yourself it’s “ok” to pull back is because you don’t know how to do it. Well I’m here to tell you, not knowing is not an excise. Can you hear me? I said, not knowing is NO LONGER A VALID EXCUSE! Now that I’ve ranted, let’s again bring to mind the formula for accomplishment: 99% intention and 1% mechanism. Accomplishment, no matter the area, relies on the depth of your inner will (intention) to bring it to fruition. However, where you often fall short is proficiency (mechanism), and there the story ends…most times.

So, let’s say, you have an idea for a product, service, or have a skill. You recognize that there seems to exist a need for your product, service, or skill, but something in the execution stands in your way. You put in some preliminary work, and suddenly you realize that you don’t know how to do what it takes in order to effectively execute your idea. Perhaps your idea needs a website, and you don’t know anything about designing websites. Perhaps your idea needs a marketing plan, and you don’t know anything about writing marketing plans. Perhaps your idea needs a particular governmental status, and you don’t know anything about how the government works in that particular area. Or whatever else your idea might need, you somehow lack the crucial knowledge of whatever is needed in order to move forward—and you find yourself feeling more and more defeated, stuck, or otherwise ineffective. Whatever it is, or whatever your situation is, I have some good news and some bad news.

First, here’s the bad news: what has kept you from moving forward is simply you, and your beliefs about yourself. Now, here’s the good news: what will move you forward is simply you, and your beliefs about yourself. Let’s examine it more closely. In the domain of knowledge, there exists information that you are aware that you know (e.g. name, address, birthday, etc.). There also exists in the domain of knowledge, information that you are aware that you don’t know (e.g. all the things you need in order to execute your ideas). And here’s even emore good news, as soon as you aware of what you don’t know, you’ve illuminated exactly what needs to be learned, conquered, or acquired. Perhaps you’ve been operating under the false assumption that you’re supposed to know everything, and so when you don’t know something you begin to think/feel that it’s because of some inherent personal deficiency. Now hear this, if it exists in the world, as evidenced by the fact that other people have done it or are doing it, then it can be known, accomplished, and performed by you too.

“What we have to learn to do,

we learn by doing.”

~ Aristotle

At the expense of what you want, the only question worth asking is, “how much longer are you willing to live with the excuse of not knowing?” If your answer is is not a minute more, dedicate a little time each day in order to learn what you know-you don’t know.

Use this blog to post your insights. Read and discuss the insight of others. Go for it!!!

Love,

Jaimes.